Meet Brice Royer

Posted by Brice on November 19th, 2007 | Categorized as General Forum, Introduction | 1,084 views and 23 Comments

Brice Royer is a multiracial French, Vietnamese and Ethiopian Army Brat/TCK and the founder of TCKID.com an online community to support the needs of Adult Third Culture Kids and the expat community. He lived on 3 continents and in 7 countries before the age of 18, including France, Reunion, Mayotte, and Canada. Brice lives in Vancouver, Canada.

EARLY YEARS

Brice Royer was born in France on February 15th, 1984. His father, Francis Royer, was born and raised in France where he grew up and joined the army. Brice’s grandfather is half French and Moroccan, and his grandmother is Vietnamese.

Brice’s mother, Aziza Yussuf, grew up in a small community in Ethiopia. Her father worked as a lawyer during the reign of emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia, then flew the country after the civil war, and returned to open a school and help rebuild the country.

It was there, in Ethiopia, where Brice’s parents met. His mother was working in a shop as a seamstress, and his father was on a peacekeeping mission that allowed him to travel and pursue his dreams to help others.

Brice’s father eventually returned to France, and Brice grew up with his mother for a few years in Mayotte, La Reunion, and studied in Canada. Later, he moved to London, where he started a business in online media and consulting for non-profits.

BBC Interview. Listen to Brice’s interview by BBC on TCKID and Third Culture Kids.

INTERVIEW WITH BRICE:

Where are you from?

The short answer I give is “I’m from Ottawa, Canada. But I was born in France.”. My father is a half French and half Vietnamese U.N Peacekeeper and my mother is Ethiopian. It was an unlikely love story that transcends race, culture and values. But they found love across barriers, and for that, I’m grateful for the diversity of my heritage.

Where do you belong?

I’m mixed race. I’m also a Third Culture Kid. I belong to other TCKs just like me, it’s a new identity — the third culture and cross cultural identity. I’m not French, Vietnamese, Ethiopian or Canadian and I certainly don’t belong everywhere and nowhere. I belong with Cross cultural kids. I’ve always been in one identity box, The “Foreigner” — I look different and feel different — I even sound different, even among family members, which does have some advantages. For instance, I’m not likely to be pressured to fully adopt and comply to their cultural rules. I eat French food for breakfast, Ethiopian food for lunch, and my own special multicultural recipe for dinner.

But the truth is, I order Chinese take-out more often than I would like to admit, because let’s face it, it’s convenient and I can be lazy sometimes.

I’m grateful to speak several languages and have friends from all over the world. My best friends are Korean, my brother lives in France, my father is on mission in Afghanistan, I have cousins in Sweden, Australia, Los Angeles, and various places around the world, and for some reason, I happen to speak some Japanese.

What are your challenges?

I remember when I was at school and struggled with unresolved grief. My health began to deteriorate because of this unresolved emotional baggage, and for two years, I suffered from chronic pain. I couldn’t even use my hands without having pain — it was every student’s nightmare. Especially if you’re the type of student who spends most of their time chatting with his friends around the world.

To make matters worse, I still didn’t know where I belong, I was confused about my cultural identity and because I couldn’t use my hands anymore, I felt I had no real purpose. It was a really dark period in my life.

But I’m really lucky I discovered and learned a few little things that would change the course of my life.

I know it’s not always easy being a TCK who feels restless and trying to have fulfilling relationships, a sense of belonging, and a purpose in life … especially when you’re tied up most of the time studying or working with people don’t quite understand you.

And when you think about how to start dealing with restlessness, your unresolved grief, and your future, it can seem overwhelming.

So I want to just take a minute and let you know everything is going to be fine.

You’re not broken and you’re not alone.

How can I say this? Because I know how you feel. Finding a sense of belonging, being at peace with the past, and having a purpose in life wasn’t easy for me either, and I sure had challenges of my own …just like many TCKs do now.

What is your life like today?.

Today, I know where I belong. I have a better sense of belonging, I’m no longer dragged around the nose by restlessness, I have great friends and a meaningful purpose in life. Now all I need is a teleportation machine so I can travel anywhere I want, and I think my life would be perfect. If you have one, please contact me.

Why did you create TCKID?

I founded TCKID in November 2007 to help Third Culture Kids find a sense of belonging. But I was not prepared for what was to come.

We’ve had over 2,500 people join our list, had 72,000 visitors in the last 8 months, and I get around 10 emails per day. We had no idea it would get this big. And I’m flattered, but a little freaked out by it.

Within months of starting TCKID.com, I’ve been getting SLAMMED with emails, messages, and requests
from TCKs, adult TCKs, parents, teachers from all around the world asking questions like…

How do find out where I belong?

How can I make and maintain friendships with non-TCKs and TCKs?

How do I deal with the grief I still feel from long ago losses of
country and friends?

How do I stop restlessness because I can’t seem to stay in one
place more than 2-3 years?

How can I not forget and lose my past while moving towards the
future?

How do I deal with the loneliness I sometimes feel, even when
others are around?

How do I learn to recognize and develop fully the gifts I
received from this TCK experience?

And so much more…

I’ve received tens of thousands of emails since TCKID’s launch. And I’ve read every one, but have only had the chance to respond to a few of them. I have to work on several important projects for TCKs this year, so I’ve been overwhelmed.

Fortunately, we have a lot of support from the volunteers in our community and from experts like Ruth Van Reken who have joined us to create a TCK teleclass, with many more to come.

I’m just a regular guy and I’m not really into this business of teaching people, I’m not a coach or anything, so please bear with me because I’m not a “professional” and I have flaws like everyone else, but I do want to share these incredible success stories and knowledge with the community.

Here’s a true story from a TCK:

“I’ve always known that I struggle with issues of identity and belonging. But over the last few months I’ve also started to notice that I really struggle with relationships. I struggle to make friends. I struggle to be a part of a community. I struggle feeling integrated.”

Three weeks ago I thought I was done with the crying until I signed up for TCKid, and Brice sent me that link to the TCK mini course. I read it, and it hit me really hard. I ended up on the floor bawling my eyes out as the pain and grief left me.
I think some serious repair work was done to my heart that night. The incredible and overwhelming loneliness I had felt prior to that seems to have disappeared. Gone. Poof. Suddenly my heart is light. Now that the loneliness is gone, I actually feel positive about working on the friendships that I have to breakdown my distrust and build something strong in its place, and on making new friends too. Weird how that works isn’t it? I thought the natural thing was for us to look for friends when we are lonely, not when we’re doing fine. But it was the opposite for me.
So that’s what TCKid has done for me. I think what TCKid does is powerful. I think ‘powerful’ is the right word. I think what Brice, Ruth and all those involved are doing is accomplishing something really powerful - but probably subtle too. What it will accomplish will probably be much greater and much much more powerful than it will ever appear on the surface. Powerful because I think what it accomplishes in a human heart will not be wasted. “

I may be an ordinary guy but I’ve learned that with determination and passion for TCKs, when we are together, ordinary people can do great things.

I’ve learned from our volunteers that TCKs are welcoming of strangers and really do want to make a difference.

It wasn’t easy but this valuable experience completely transformed my life, and I would like to share this opportunity with as many people as possible.

Any advice for TCKs?

My advice to TCKs is this: Reach out to a stranger. Talk to a TCK, a foreigner, an immigrant, or anyone who has lived on the margins of society and feel like they don’t fit in anywhere. Listen to their stories, and welcome them into your world, because you’ll give them something most people can’t: a real sense of belonging.

Helping TCKs find a sense of belonging changed my life, I hope it changes yours.

Thank you,
Brice

Founder
http://tckid.com/staff.html

My story on TCK Academy: http://tckacademy.com/class/about-expert-interviews.html

On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brice-Royer/7770061462
On MSN: bricethecat at hotmail dot com
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/tckid

Friends:
Ruth Van Reken’s website http://crossculturalkids.org
Paulette Bethel http://pmbethel.blogs.com/
Among World Magazine: http://www.interactionintl.org/amongworlds.asp
FIGT (Families in Global Transition): http://www.figt.org/

International Family Mag: http://www.internationalfamilymag.com/aug08/thirdculturekids.htm

Brice

Hello, I'm Brice, the founder of TCKID.com. I'm a French, Vietnamese and Ethiopian TCK and I live in Vancouver, Canada. A while back I discovered I was a third culture kid and wanted to help TCKs find a sense of belonging. You can too. Get involved and start making a difference. || Donate. || Volunteer ||